IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Students should have physical activity as a compulsory subject at school on regular basis. why is it beneficial for student to participate in physical activity ? which sports do you thinks are the safest physical activity?

#students #activity #school #basis #student #sports
According to
,
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it should be compulsory for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students to have physical action
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 at school because it is important for them. The physical activity which is safe for the students to do is yoga,
exerices
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
, playing
cricet
Correct your spelling
cricket
 and much more.
Firstly
, there should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
rule for every school to add a subject like physical activity. It should be compulsory for every school to have a subject like physical action.
For example
, if a person is playing one game
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by which the body
movemain
Correct your spelling
movement
move main
 is done
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 it will be better for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 health. Kids should
also
 do yoga
as well as
 exercise for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. Yogas
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 option for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health.
However
,
although
 kids should take
parts
Fix the agreement mistake
part
show examples
 in
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
competitions
such
 as long jump, running, high jump and much more.
Secondly
, every institution should provide a facility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 doing yoga. Institutions should provide exercise to their children. There are so many benefits of doing the sports
activty
Correct your spelling
activity
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children like it is good for
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
, it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 for health, it is good for
lifestyle
Correct article usage
the lifestyle
show examples
 and much more. The game which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 safe and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 should play games like cricket, volleyball,
khokho
Correct your spelling
Kho-Kho
Kho Kho
 and more. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 it is for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people to do physical activity. Even it should be
also
 compulsory for the
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 to have
Add an article
a rule
show examples
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 like 1 hour per day for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical classes. From the ablow information it can be clearly can be said that
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 should make young people aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fitness.
Hence
,
Correct article usage
the importants
show examples
importants
Correct your spelling
importance
important
 of sports should
be maintain
Change the verb form
be maintained
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
the
show examples
education
sysment
Correct your spelling
system
segment
.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: