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Band 7

bar chart shows the number of times per week , over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded form the internet

bar chart shows the number of times per week , over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded form the internet
The bar chart compares the download
rate
Use synonyms
 of
three
Use synonyms
 computer packages over five weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Active
X
Use synonyms
 had the biggest download
rate
Use synonyms
, whilst the Net was the least popular of the
three
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, Active
X
Use synonyms
 and Java showed a similar pattern, with both increasing from
week
Use synonyms
 1 to
week
Use synonyms
 5.
However
Linking Words
, the purchases of Active
x
Use synonyms
 remained always at a higher level than that for Java. Active
X
Use synonyms
 stood at
week
Use synonyms
 1 around 80. Apart from a small fall in
week
Use synonyms
three
Use synonyms
, it gradually went up to reach a peak in the final
week
Use synonyms
, at 120. Java
also
Linking Words
 increased at a steady
rate
Use synonyms
, finishing over 80. The product which was the least popular one, Net, began the first at slightly under 40. In sharp contrast to the other two products, it experienced a fall over the next two weeks, reaching a low of 10 in
week
Use synonyms
 3.
However
Linking Words
, it rose at a steady
rate
Use synonyms
 to finish the final
week
Use synonyms
 at 50, which was the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 among the
three
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, three, x, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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