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Band 7

bar chart shows the number of times per week , over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded form the internet

bar chart shows the number of times per week , over five weeks, that three computer packages were downloaded form the internet
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The bar chart compares the download
rate
Use synonyms
 of
three
Use synonyms
 computer packages over five weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Active
X
Use synonyms
 had the biggest download
rate
Use synonyms
, whilst the Net was the least popular of the
three
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, Active
X
Use synonyms
 and Java showed a similar pattern, with both increasing from
week
Use synonyms
 1 to
week
Use synonyms
 5.
However
Linking Words
, the purchases of Active
x
Use synonyms
 remained always at a higher level than that for Java. Active
X
Use synonyms
 stood at
week
Use synonyms
 1 around 80. Apart from a small fall in
week
Use synonyms
three
Use synonyms
, it gradually went up to reach a peak in the final
week
Use synonyms
, at 120. Java
also
Linking Words
 increased at a steady
rate
Use synonyms
, finishing over 80. The product which was the least popular one, Net, began the first at slightly under 40. In sharp contrast to the other two products, it experienced a fall over the next two weeks, reaching a low of 10 in
week
Use synonyms
 3.
However
Linking Words
, it rose at a steady
rate
Use synonyms
 to finish the final
week
Use synonyms
 at 50, which was the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 among the
three
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, three, x, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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