Task 2 Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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Many people believe that increasing taxation on junk food can help decrease health problems

due to

Linking Words

the high rate of sugar contained in snacks produced by companies worldwide. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

because of the reluctance when

buying

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

sugary

products

Use synonyms

and the funds which can be used to raise awareness of citizens' health.

Firstly

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, implying greater prices for sugary snacks will make shoppers unwilling to purchase them. To be more specific, since it is impossible for people to pay a fortune just for food, they are not only buying fast foods occasionally but

also

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avoiding them. What I mean by avoiding is that consumers will look for cheaper

products

Use synonyms

which are the healthy ones.

For instance

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, the infamous fast food chain McDonald's is struggling in Vietnam

as a result

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of the tax policy enforced by governments in order to help citizens maintain green lifestyles.

Secondly

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, funding from unhealthy

products

Use synonyms

is a considerable contributor in terms of raising citizen's awareness about their health. Obviously, junk foods create a huge amount of wages which authorities can invest in educating the community about the negative impact on their bodies caused by sugary snacks.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the country's leader can spend money on constructing brand-new gyms, offering residents opportunities to work out.

Therefore

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, the funds will lead citizens to a healthy life. In conclusion, an increase in tax will form unwillingness among consumers

as well as

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produce a significant number of funds used in creating a healthier lifestyle.

Hence

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this

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essay has given clear points to agree with the statement of discouraging the public from unhealthy

products

Use synonyms

by raising prices.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a smoother and more logical transition between ideas, which can further enhance the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Continue to develop a range of sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your arguments.

task achievement

For a higher score, try to explore the implications or counterarguments of the proposed solution, adding depth and sophistication to your response.

task achievement

Maintain the strong structure of your essay by clearly delineating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay clearly presents a logical argument, effectively addressing the prompt.

task achievement

You've effectively used examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The use of paragraphs to organize your ideas has contributed to a coherent and cohesive essay structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Task 2 Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

What are the main reasons and solutions for re-offend?

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for vary fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.