Task 2 Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Many people believe that increasing taxation on junk food can help decrease health problems

due to

the high rate of sugar contained in snacks produced by companies worldwide. I completely agree with

this

because of the reluctance when

buying

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

sugary

products

and the funds which can be used to raise awareness of citizens' health.

Firstly

, implying greater prices for sugary snacks will make shoppers unwilling to purchase them. To be more specific, since it is impossible for people to pay a fortune just for food, they are not only buying fast foods occasionally but

also

avoiding them. What I mean by avoiding is that consumers will look for cheaper

products

which are the healthy ones.

For instance

, the infamous fast food chain McDonald's is struggling in Vietnam

as a result

of the tax policy enforced by governments in order to help citizens maintain green lifestyles.

Secondly

, funding from unhealthy

products

is a considerable contributor in terms of raising citizen's awareness about their health. Obviously, junk foods create a huge amount of wages which authorities can invest in educating the community about the negative impact on their bodies caused by sugary snacks.

Additionally

, the country's leader can spend money on constructing brand-new gyms, offering residents opportunities to work out.

Therefore

, the funds will lead citizens to a healthy life. In conclusion, an increase in tax will form unwillingness among consumers

as well as

produce a significant number of funds used in creating a healthier lifestyle.

Hence

this

essay has given clear points to agree with the statement of discouraging the public from unhealthy

products

by raising prices.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a smoother and more logical transition between ideas, which can further enhance the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Continue to develop a range of sentence structures to add complexity and depth to your arguments.

task achievement

For a higher score, try to explore the implications or counterarguments of the proposed solution, adding depth and sophistication to your response.

task achievement

Maintain the strong structure of your essay by clearly delineating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay clearly presents a logical argument, effectively addressing the prompt.

task achievement

You've effectively used examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The use of paragraphs to organize your ideas has contributed to a coherent and cohesive essay structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Task 2 Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write an email to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email, give details of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently Write at least 150 words.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?