IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should How the Unemployed Spend their Time, UK, last year
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The table displays information about one year how unemployed people used their leisure in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 data gives the same information that compares
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
, the three most common activities were more likely,
such
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 as housework, shopping, and hunting,
while
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 other works were few proportions. Morning and afternoon housework percentages were 49% and 21% both two shifts of
women
Use synonyms
 more than
men
Use synonyms
 approximately 26% done,
this
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 is one of the most popular tasks that
women
Use synonyms
 spent their leisure compared to others.
In contrast
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,
men
Use synonyms
 were less likely to expenditure homework when they have time.
On the other hand
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, most
women
Use synonyms
 went shopping at about 70% which means combined both two times of the whole year,
while
Linking Words
 males were not similar percentage going shopping at 29% the entire timespan.
Whereas
Linking Words
 hunting and gardening were famous jobs that
men
Use synonyms
 did a high proportion compared to females.
Therefore
Linking Words
, other remaining activities have a tiny amount of time.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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