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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many young people nowadays change thei jobs or career every few years. cause ? advantages outweighted disadvantages ?

#people #change #jobs #career #years
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Nowadays, many
teenagers
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 change their jobs or career continuously every year. In
this
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 essay, I will express my own opinion. In
this
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 essay, I will give some causes of
this
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 and I think it has more disadvantages than advantages. These are the main reasons why young people change companies and careers constantly.
Firstly
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, some companies are too strict and put pressure on their
employees
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, always forcing them to work overtime.
Moreover
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, those companies always deduct employee salaries because of small mistakes, which makes young people not have enough money to cover their living costs
at the end
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 of the month.
Secondly
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, the working environment affects the working status of
employees
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.
This
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 may be
due to
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 culture shock, weather and no colleagues to communicate and work together. For those reasons,
teenagers
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 have to find a better, more suitable job to be able to work comfortably and without pressure. In my opinion, young people constantly changing jobs is very detrimental and not advisable.
Firstly
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, when
teenagers
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 have a new job, they have to get used to the new environment and colleagues and have to learn new things about the new company.
Moreover
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 , new
employees
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 will find it difficult to gain the trust of colleagues because they have not been attached for a long time and do not have enough experience.
Secondly
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, new
employees
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 may not get a high salary because they will get starting salary level which is normally low.
This
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 may affect their living conditions in a short time. In conclusion,
teenagers
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 choose to change their job after a few years because of pressure and the environment, and I believe that
this
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 trend brings more drawbacks than benefits.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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