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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age group and the amount of support they received from the employers.

the charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age group and the amount of support they received from the employers.
#show #study #students #age #group #amount #support #employers
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The given charts demonstrate the data of the
students
Use synonyms
 who come under different
age
Use synonyms
 groups, based on their reasons behind gaining
knowledge
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 briefs about the help that they have
got
Replace the word
gotten
show examples
 from working professionals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, learners under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 26 preferred education for a better
career
Use synonyms
, and only 10% of them were interested in gaining
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, 70% of individuals over 49 were actually gaining
knowledge
Use synonyms
 for the interest as compared to
career
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
belong
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 26 to 49, moderately reduced gaining
knowledge
Use synonyms
 for their
career
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more than 60% of the youth under 26 got support from working professionals, but only 32% of the people under
30
Correct article usage
the 30
show examples
-39 range received financial help from employers.
Overall
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 under the 40-49
age
Use synonyms
 group equally pursued
knowledge
Use synonyms
 for their
career
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 for interest ,and there was a significant fall in the percentage of employers
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
students
Use synonyms
 comes under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 26 to 39.
Submitted by gsmultani506 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, age, knowledge, career with synonyms.
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