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Writing Samples
Band 5

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

#overpopulation #centers #world
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Nowadays many urban areas tend to be overpopulated.
This
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 can be seen all around the globe and is not specific to one region. There is a variety of reasons why
this
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 is happening and there are a few possible solutions.
Firstly
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, it is important to recognise some of the potential causes of
this
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 issue. Many major companies like to build their offices in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of popular cities as it gives them better links for business and trade.
Well recognised
Add a hyphen
Well-recognised
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 cities
also
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 tend to attract more
people
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, giving them a larger pool of competitive candidates
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they can hire.
For example
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, Samsung has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 main office in Warsaw – the capital of Poland.
Therefore
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 more jobs, again attracting
people
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 from outside the city, leading to more congestion, a
knock on
Add a hyphen
knock-on
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 effect.
However
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, there are a few things which can be done in order to reduce
this
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 overpopulation. These large corporations should incentivise their current managers to work outside the city or even remotely. As they already have jobs and are good at their work, being slightly outside the area won’t affect the corporation in a negative way. In turn, less accommodation
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
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 near their main offices and reducing the demand for
people
Use synonyms
 to live in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Not to mention
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 on public transport. In conclusion, overpopulation is
due to
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 multiple factors, some of which can be controlled better than others. It is important to recognise which factors will produce faster and more effective results as the world population continues to grow.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Migration
  • Sustainable development
  • Infrastructure
  • Population density
  • Urban sprawl
  • Urban planning
  • Renewable energy
  • Family planning
  • Rural economies
  • Public transport
  • Living standards
  • Healthcare access
  • Educational facilities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Regulations
What to do next:
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