IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #purchase #product
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Advertising plays a major role in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 life even if we don’t realise it.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is not necessary as the public tends to buy products based on their needs as opposed to what they are advertised. I fundamentally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion as advertising can have a big influence on product sales. Many of us look up to certain individuals, whether be it an actor, singer, sportsman etc. Having these famous stars endorse a product can really push
people
Use synonyms
 to buy them as they have a certain level of credibility in our personal opinions.
Therefore
Linking Words
 we may believe the product is good for the only reason
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that our favourite celebrity is holding it on tv, regardless of if we actually need it or not. Each year it is becoming evident that we spend an increasing amount of time on social media.
This
Linking Words
 makes it a great place for companies to place products right in front of us and for long periods of time.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 is especially true for novelty items.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 there are rarely any ads regarding vegetables, fruits or milk as
people
Use synonyms
 will buy them regardless of
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
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. In my opinion, in an
advert
Add a comma
,advert
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 it is easier to convince
people
Use synonyms
 to buy novelty items they don’t need to spend their extra disposable income. In conclusion, advertising plays a large role in human psychology and where we decide to spend our money. Advertising is most definitely needed, especially from a business point of view, as it can really increase sales.
Due to
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this
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, we as consumers need to be aware of the tactics these businesses use and how our
hard earned
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hard-earned
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 money is spent.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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