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Band 5.5

Some think secondary and high school students should be allowed to choose academic courses leading to university or practical courses leading to careers such as carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

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Nowadays, some individuals believe that secondary school
students
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 should be allowed to choose their
career
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path
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. Whether the route is academic or practical should be at the discretion of the
student
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. I completely agree with
this
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 view and will elaborate on my opinion.
To begin
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 with, it may be beneficial for
students
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 to have limited choices at an early age.
This
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 is because they are continuing to mature and having many choices may be confusing.
In addition
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, having fewer choices may allow them to be more focused and in turn, more committed to their
career
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 development.
Not to mention
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, with
a
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an
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 academic degree, they are able to go back to a more practical
path
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 later on
whereas
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 it is more difficult
vice
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and vice
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 versa.
On the other hand
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, having multiple
career
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 paths may be useful. Having more options gives
students
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 the ability to make
a
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apply
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better, more informed
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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. With more variety, there's a higher likelihood that a
student
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 finds something that aligns with their interest and personality.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 are less pressured to make a
decision
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 with standards set by the school or society.
Therefore
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,
students
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 can get early exposure to the
career
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 of their choice, enabling them to reach their dreams and goals earlier on in life.
For example
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, an apprenticeship a
student
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starts
Correct pronoun usage
who starts
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 at eighteen will have three years experience against a
student
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 who began at twenty-one. (average university graduate age) In conclusion, I believe
students
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 should have the
decision
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 to choose a
path
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 that suits them the best.
This
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 varies from
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student-to-
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student to student
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student
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 which is why having many options is advantageous. Regardless, exploring each
path
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 and being committed to their
decision
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 is equally important.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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