Some people believe that studying for a university degree is better for an individual’s career than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #university #individual’s #career #work #school

It is believed that the people who choose to graduate after high school consider it far better than working on

skills

and gaining

experience

.I agree with

this

statement but to some certain extent which I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

discuss

further

this

essay.

Firstly

, a

university

education is a wise decision after high school.

For instance

, universities have pre-planned courses that focus on each and every part of a particular degree program.

Furthermore

, from experienced teachers available at the

university

help can be sought easily.

Moreover

, graduation-level studying involves quizzes, a thesis, presentations and assessment tests which can be the key point that people prefer graduation rather than individual

experience

However

,it is a wise decision to choose institutional studying rather than gaining work

experience

On the other hand

,gaining

experience

by working on

skills

is cheap compared to

university

studies.

For example

, universities demand thousands of dollars

while

a person who is working with

skills

does not need to pay that much fee there are many free resources

such

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

which can teach a person anything and everything for free.

Besides

this

university

education is 70% theory-based learning which is the biggest flaw of graduation but for gaining

experience

person has to do practical work and can focus on those aspects that are in demand in the market.

Therefore

, working on

skills

is equally important but

due to

financial issues. students choose to gain

experience

over graduation.

To conclude

,in my opinion,the government should introduce undergraduate scholarships and

university

students should

also

work to gain

experience

in the practical fields

instead

of cramming in books.

Submitted by muhammadwaleed8687 on Sat Jul 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present, but the essay lacks logical progression and organization. The main points are not sufficiently supported with relevant examples and explanations.

task achievement

The response addresses the task to some extent, covering both sides of the argument. However, the ideas lack comprehensiveness and clarity. More specific examples are needed to support the points effectively.

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17Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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