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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problem does this cause and what are the solutions.

#people #employment
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It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of old employment is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario. The problem has been a depressing magnitude. The causes of
this
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 appear to be focused on three areas, and a number of solutions
also
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 appear to be possible.   Perhaps the major factor here is old workers do not have contemporary
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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.
This
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 can rapidly lead to, the company would decrease its productivity and
then
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leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to lower output and service because
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
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have
Change the verb form
has
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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other
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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 than
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation.
For example
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, old
individous
Correct your spelling
individuals
 can not figher what
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
Use synonyms
 exacting to buy that
prodects
Correct your spelling
products
product
. Another cause is the increasing the number of unemployment. The long-term consequent problem is if old
people
Use synonyms
 continue working, there would be no chance for the
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 so they may
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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not be independent and make families.
For instance
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, countries
such
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 as Sweden where appears to be the case.
Consequently
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, small families will
might
Remove a modal verb
apply
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disappeared
Change the verb form
disappear
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 All these reasons conclusively prove how it is detrimental to society.   Turning to possible solutions.
First,
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Perhaps the most effective and immediate solution would be giving old
people
Use synonyms
 retirement with
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
. If we took
this
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 step it would greatly enhance the country's output.
Second,
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an obvious step would be to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
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 a new career for old
people
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, the Universities
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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offer shorter courses, or more courses with an element of professionally paid work experience included. If
such
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 courses were more available, it would reduce the issue to some extent.  
To conclude
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, the factors of old thought and rais unemployment appear to be the main causes. A coordinated response by the state, the institutions, and the individuals may well lessen the severity of the situation.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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