IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

97.In many countries, the amount of waste produced by households and industries is increasing at an alarming rate. What are the main causes of this situation, and what measures could be taken to tackle the problem?

#countries #amount #waste #households #industries #rate #situation #measures
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It is argued that the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
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 produced in many nations is increasing dramatically. The main causes of
this
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problem
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 are the large number of
products
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 used for packing up boxes and the creation of
products
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 of only
one
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 usage, and the most viable solutions are making
people
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 aware of
this
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problem
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 through advertisements and using
products
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 made of resistant materials.
One
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 of the main causes is the increasing consumption of
products
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. When making online orders or transporting
products
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, the package is full of plastic bags and paper, ensuring that the product does not break in the transport. When
people
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 receive the package they will throw all
this
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 unuseful paper away, causing an increase in
waste
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.
Also
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, there is an increasing
amount
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 of
products
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 of only
one
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 use. The principal aim of
this
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 creation was to make
people
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's life easier, so they do not need to carry
products
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 from
one
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 place to another.
For instance
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, some Chinese hotels offer consumers
one
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-use towels, because these
products
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 do not occupy space and the hotel can save the money used for cleaning them.
This
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problem
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 can be solved by advertising the
amount
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 of
waste
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that is
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 produced. In
this
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 way
people
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 can be aware of the
problem
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 and the damage
that is
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 causing to the planet, so individuals can take action to reduce the average
waste
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 per person. Another solution to
this
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problem
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 is to use resistant
products
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this
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 can solve the
problem
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 by reducing the
amount
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 of
products
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 that are thrown every day, since they are more difficult to break down.
For instance
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, many Spanish supermarkets now are using raffia bags because more
products
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 can be carried and they can
also
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 resist a lot of weight. In conclusion, the main causes of the increasing
amount
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 of
waste
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 produced are the large number of
products
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 used for packaging and the development of
one
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-usage
products
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, and
this
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 can be solved by making
people
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 know about the problems in publicity and
also
Linking Words
 using resistant
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical flow, with ideas appearing disjointed. You should strive to create a more cohesive argument by using clear topic sentences and sequencers to guide the reader from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay has an introduction and conclusion, they are underdeveloped. The introduction should more clearly state the main points that will be discussed. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments made without introducing new information.
task achievement
Examples provided lack specificity and depth. Future responses should include detailed examples that clearly connect to and support the main points being made.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but it would benefit from a more thorough examination of the causes and a deeper exploration of the solutions, possibly with more concrete examples or data to support claims.
task achievement
Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively around the main points, ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea and is expanded upon with examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Be attentive to the range and accuracy of vocabulary. The use of synonyms and less common phrases can enrich an essay. Also, take care with grammatical accuracy for the best coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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