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Band 6.5

THE ONLY WAY TO SOLVE THE INCREASING CRIME RATE OF YOUNG OFFENDERS IS TO TEACH PARENTS BETTER PARENTING SKILLS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

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The
rate
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 of crimes among
children
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 is increasing at a rapid
rate
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 today. It is believed that
this
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 growing
rate
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 of juvenile offenders can only be curtailed by imparting better parenting skills. I disagree with
this
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 statement as I believe that many other measures can
also
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 be taken for reducing crime in
children
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 apart from equipping
parents
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 with parental skills.
Parents
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 these days often find it challenging to strike a balance between work and family and in
such
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 a scenario the
children
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 in
such
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 families are left with little care.
This
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 inadequate care often persuades
children
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 to adopt other measures which can help them to seek pleasure and attention leading to the commitment of crimes. In
such
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 situations, providing parenting skills is one of the ways to create awareness in
parents
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 about the steps that can be taken towards ensuring better attention and care to
children
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 which are essential for the healthy
character
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 development of a child. Nurture of
children
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 in
such
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 a manner can not only strengthen the bonding between the
parents
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 and
children
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,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 can help them to ensure good
character
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 in
children
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 by suppressing criminal tendencies.
However
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, there are many other
factors
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 responsible to avert the criminal nature of
children
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 and one
such
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 factor is school. Most often
children
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 spend a large share of their time at school and
this
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 is
also
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 a platform where their
character
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 gets easily influenced by external
factors
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such
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 as their peer groups. It is to be noticed that the bad
character
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 of
children
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 often takes root from bad friendships.
This
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 is the reason why schools today intensively train their teachers to monitor and ensure healthy
character
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 formation in pupils apart from delivering quality education. Through conscientious monitoring of pupils in schools, the teachers can scrutinize
children
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 with criminal tendencies and provide them with timely counselling sessions to ward off
such
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 nature in
children
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.
To conclude
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, many
factors
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 influence
character
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 formation in
children
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. Though there is a thought that the
rate
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 of increasing crime in young
children
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 can only be prevented by providing parental training, I believe that it is only one among the numerous
factors
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 available for deterring criminal nature and developing a good
character
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 in
children
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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