IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibilty towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Business practices have achieved a great deal of public attention in recent years.
Although
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 companies always seek to
maximize
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maximise
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 the money they make, certain individuals believe that their responsibilities towards society should be at the highest level, which I agree with to a large extent. Being irresponsible can be harmful to a business in many different ways in today's world.
First,
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it is the public, either directly or through its politicians, that has the power to make a company legal or illegal.
For instance
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, if a company is causing air contamination or any other environmental damage, local residents can sue it for harming them or destroying the environment.
Second,
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society can make businesses unprofitable if they are not socially responsible. In fact, many companies have had to reluctantly change their traditional practices that were associated with negative impacts on the environment after their customer purchases plummeted recently. Socially responsible companies can receive a variety of benefits from society and governments. Smart businesses are using their environmental strategies to build a competitive advantage.
For example
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, Tesco, the world's top five retailers, has augmented its business by allowing customers to accumulate points, which can be redeemed for cash, for
such
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 activities as reusing bags, recycling cans and buying home-insulation materials.
In addition
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, clean businesses often receive favourable policies from governments. In fact, governments in many countries provide tax credits for food manufacturers and processors who donate excess produce to local food banks, which can be used to feed livestock or recycled to create compost and bioenergy. To
summarize
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summarise
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, it is vital for any organisation today to become highly responsible towards communities. In my opinion, I greatly agree with the statement since the public has the ultimate power to make destructive environmental practices unprofitable and illegal.

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Task Response
Your view is clear and you give reasons. To lift the score, add one or two strong ideas for each point and give a clear example for each. Check spell and long lines.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link words are used, but make the flow nicer. Start each paragraph with one main idea and end with a short wrap up. Use simple links like First, Also, Then, So and But.
Strength
Clear position on the topic.
Strength
Good use of examples to back points.
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