IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart depicts the average residential
water
Use synonyms
 utilization in litres in six Australian cities in the recent year,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart describes the shares of Australian
water
Use synonyms
 at the same time. It is obvious, that
Perth’
Change noun form
Perth’s
show examples
 inhabitants expended the most
water
Use synonyms
 (300 kilolitres per property) and,
in contrast
Linking Words
, Canberra the least (approximately 140 kilolitres).
Water
Use synonyms
 use in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Brisbane ranged somewhere
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
150 to 250 kilolitres. The tallest fraction of
water
Use synonyms
 was spent on agriculture (67%),
whereas
Linking Words
 mining consumed the smallest proportion (2%). The remaining
water
Use synonyms
 was needed for other industries and manufacturing (4% respectively), electricity and gas supply
as well as
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 supply, sewage and drainage (7% respectively), and households at
last
Linking Words
 (9%). In conclusion, the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 utilized
last
Linking Words
 year was significantly higher in Perth, Adelaide and Brisbane
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
 in Melbourne and Canberra.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Farming and domestication accounted for
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of the consumed
water
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by i.reichwaldt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: