Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent times, many families have both parents working. Some working parents think other family members
such
as,
grandparents
can look after
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
,
whereas
others feel
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
care
. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childrecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
children are
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
better than
grandparents
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
care
of
children
because in
childrecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
child care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
there are qualified professionals namely, nurses,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
specialists, and
also
Correct your spelling
childcare
childrecare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
allowe
Correct your spelling
allow
children
to become more social. On the one hand, some feel the
grandparents
can
prvoide
Correct your spelling
provide
better
care
for their grandchildren.
This
is because
grandparents
have plenty
experiences
Change preposition
of experiences
show examples
to deal with
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they raised their
children
in the past .
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
if the
children
cry
grandparents
can know to make
children
calm down.
Furthermore
, if the
grandparents
look after their grandchildren
this
can contribute boosts the relationships among members family, because all members of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
share
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
show examples
to
care
for
children
.
On the other hand
, I would agree with those individuals who think that
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
it better way to look after their
children
.
To begin
with,
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
have qualified experts namely, nurses, doctors,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
specialists, which means
children
are more likely to receive better
care
than
grandparents
.
This
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
to the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
those professionals have high skills to cope with
children
under any circumstances.
For instance
, if the
children
get
injury
Replace the word
injured
show examples
nurses can provide better healthcare than those
grandparents
.
Moreover
,
childrecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
children are
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
give
children
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to become more
scoial
Correct your spelling
social
through
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
relationships with
Add an article
a peer
the peer
show examples
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
.
Consequently
,
childrecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
children are
child care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
can help
children
to become more open-mind to the world around them.
To sum up
, in my perspective,
childrecare
Correct your spelling
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
can provide
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
care
for
children
than
grandparents
because in
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
there are qualified specialists,
Correct pronoun usage
who provide
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
a chance for
children
to make relationships with other
children
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: