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Band 3

Some people think that traveling abroad is an important experience for youngsters. Others think that involves too much time and expenses. Discuss both perspectives And give your opinion.

#people #youngsters #time #expenses #perspectives
There has been an argument
whether
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about whether
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 teenagers need to
travel
 around the world to gain experience. Some people believe that it
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
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 time and money to do so. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss
breakdown
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a breakdown
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both
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of both
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view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand
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,hand
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 teenagers have positive reasons to
travel
 abroad, for
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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 academic and studies purposes. In Indonesia, the government have a program to study abroad and they will likely
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
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 thousands of students to study abroad in
ivy
Correct article usage
the ivy
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 league and other campuses.
This
 program brings
Correct article usage
a postive
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our country. The students
has
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have
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gain
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gained
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 a lot of knowledge and experiences which can help to
built
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build
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 the nation
However
Add a comma
,However
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 there are some people that have no purposes to
travel
. Their goals to
travel
 have no significant impact which can
wasted
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waste
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 time and a lot of money.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 they just need to shop.
This
 phenomenon is called hedonism. In conclusion, teenagers must have positive reasons to
travel
 abroad so that they can't waste time, money, and energy.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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