In some societies, the number of crime committed by teenager is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. To what extend do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few countries are facing challenges to reduce criminal activities because children are committing crimes.
Thus
, the masses opine that even if young ones are involved in an offence, still they should face similar penalties as elders do. I partially agree with the statement as it depends on crime as well, and the same
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, it is crystal clear that, if youngsters receive punishment for wrongdoing, it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
definitely impact their development.
In other words
, they might not become a responsible citizen, in fact, they might believe the whole world is against them.
For example
, a child, who had stolen stuff from friends or an unknown person just because he likes it, does not mean he should be penalized as an adult.
Such
steps would
resist
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
him
to become
Change preposition
from becoming
show examples
a good person.
Besides
, frequently, it has been observed kids do wrong work since they might not be aware of its consequences. In certain cases, they could not understand , what had been done to them.
On the other hand
, these days, teenagers who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
done illegal activities, but have not been penalized heavily and
this
is one of the main reasons for not having any fear in their minds. To put it forth, the majority of cyber crimes are done by teenagers as they are blackmailing their agemates online, whilst as they are adolescents or not adults, the jury does not punish them heavily.
For instance
, news channels frequently enlist the stories of students, who are under the pressure of their schoolmates or others,
lastly
, they have to commit suicide as they cannot bear the ongoing stress.
Whereas
offenders do have not any threat of law and justice in their minds, they have been disturbing the lives of innocent children.
Apart from
this
, some burglars are forcing youngsters to assist them in their wrong work by manipulating that they would not face any problems as they are underage.
Therefore
, it
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
also
become a reason for inclining criminal activities,
although
being guilty they are safe. In conclusion, to eliminate the violations of rules, there is a need to alter the regulations so that everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
get justice. I believe regulations should be improvised to protect the community from lawbreakers.
Submitted by lavisharma622 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure in the introduction and conclusion, and there is a logical flow between ideas. However, there is a need to improve the support for main points and the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay adequately responds to the question and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, there is a need to ensure consistent support for main points and provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: