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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People aim to achieve balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it.

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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Nowadays, many citizens are making an effort to work and life balance.
However
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, many
people
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 cannot adjust between their tasks and reside. The prime reason why
people
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 face
this
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 issue is pressure from the working atmosphere and the life budget. The solution could be strictly related to the policies published by the government.
To begin
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 with, in most organizations and industries, employees suffer from heavy workloads
whereas
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 nobody has
time
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 to make a complaint. It seems like working overtime is compulsory and has been marked as a working culture. In order not to be dismissed by the company,
people
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 need to
keep
Verb problem
remain
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 highly competitive. What’s more, nowadays, the interest rate has increased significantly. To cover those excessively high living costs,
people
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 have to spend their
time
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 on another part-
time
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 job,
not to mention
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 raising the elderly. Some solutions could be adopted in order to avoid
such
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 a situation.
For instance
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, cities should legislate against excessive overtime to ensure every employee has a reasonable
time
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 for recreation. What’s more, the government should announce a policy regarding increasing allowance and insurance for companies which contribute to the city’s development. In that way, it could not only encourage
people
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 to work harder but
also
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a
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be a
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wise way to make up for the overtime workloads. In conclusion, it is clearly a problem of
such
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 complexity in the modern era that no solution is likely in the short term.
However
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, the prime hurdle is too much amount of work, and
this
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 issue is tackled by
time
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 management.
Submitted by aaron6124.s on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by using clear paragraph structure and linking words to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides an overview of your main points. Also, include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and provides a final thought.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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