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Band 5.5

People aim to achieve balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it.

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Nowadays, many citizens are making an effort to work and life balance.
However
, many
people
 cannot adjust between their tasks and reside. The prime reason why
people
 face
this
 issue is pressure from the working atmosphere and the life budget. The solution could be strictly related to the policies published by the government.
To begin
 with, in most organizations and industries, employees suffer from heavy workloads
whereas
 nobody has
time
 to make a complaint. It seems like working overtime is compulsory and has been marked as a working culture. In order not to be dismissed by the company,
people
 need to
keep
Verb problem
remain
show examples
 highly competitive. What’s more, nowadays, the interest rate has increased significantly. To cover those excessively high living costs,
people
 have to spend their
time
 on another part-
time
 job,
not to mention
 raising the elderly. Some solutions could be adopted in order to avoid
such
 a situation.
For instance
, cities should legislate against excessive overtime to ensure every employee has a reasonable
time
 for recreation. What’s more, the government should announce a policy regarding increasing allowance and insurance for companies which contribute to the city’s development. In that way, it could not only encourage
people
 to work harder but
also
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
wise way to make up for the overtime workloads. In conclusion, it is clearly a problem of
such
 complexity in the modern era that no solution is likely in the short term.
However
, the prime hurdle is too much amount of work, and
this
 issue is tackled by
time
 management.
Submitted by aaron6124.s on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by using clear paragraph structure and linking words to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and provides an overview of your main points. Also, include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and provides a final thought.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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