Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The importance of the role of
parents
and the environment in the development of a child’s emotional intelligence is true. Some people believe that children
who are taught to co-operate
rather than compete become more beneficial, Correct your spelling
cooperate
while
some people think the opposite. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my point of view.
On one hand, it is undeniable that parenthood played a major role in shaping their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
’s traits and attitudes. This
is mostly because children
in their early ages spent most of their time with their parents
. For example
, some parents
think that it is important to encourage their children
’s sense
of competition. It is not fully wrong, because a sense
of competition is also
beneficial to building their confidence, as long as not too excessive, because it may make their children
become self-centred.
Many others, however
, are opposed and believe that it is more important to teach their children
co-operate
Add the particle
to co-operate
sense
rather than to compete. Children
will learn to become cooperative and more thoughtful. Building connections with their friends is a perfect example, where children
can share their opinions and thoughts with their peers, also
beneficial for their social development.
In conclusion, while
the benefits parents
encouraging their Change preposition
of parents
children
’s sense
of competition is useful to build their confidence, some parents
believe that it is more important to build their co-operate sense
because it is more useful. As a result
, children
will learn to be thoughtful and cooperative. However
, as long as parents
are not too excessive in teaching both of them, the benefits are undeniably favorable
.Change the spelling
favourable
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite