IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that the government should spend money on public services and facilities, but not on the arts. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #facilities #arts
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In the modern world, public services and facilities have a huge impact on people's lives.
According to
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 government funds, some individuals believe that these ought to be spent on numerous facilities, namely transportation, security, education and healthcare services,
whereas
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 other individuals think more
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on works of art. I totally agree with the statement above and I will reveal my ideas in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the society would benefit, if the state provides them with necessary services. By improving the medical sphere, the nation would be healthy and
as a consequence
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, work and study for the development of their own country.
Moreover
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, if the education sphere would be fully funded by the government, the population would continue to develop and compete with other countries, in terms of knowledge.
Also
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, looking at public transportation systems, by spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
this
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, the population will not spend cash on private autos, and as a,result the rates of happiness will increase dramatically.
Furthermore
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, in the case that it is safe to live in a particular region and the crime rates are low, it would appeal to and attract masses of tourists, which might generate a
money
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 flow into the country,
as a consequence
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 the state would continue to develop .
For instance
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, islands
such
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 as Madagascar, Maldives and Bali generate 90% of their
money
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 from tourism. In conclusion, in my perspective, the best way to allocate government funds is to serve the basic needs of its population, which may
consequently
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 guarantee a vivid and successful future for the whole nation and the country itself.
Submitted by choriev.safar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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