Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society

In contemporary

society

, the number of

people

who spend their leisure time shopping is increasing,

while

some argue that

this

trend can affect

people

in both advantageous and disadvantageous ways. The reasons behind

this

phenomenon will be discussed in the following essay

along with

the effects of it on both individual and social perspectives. There are many factors that result in the popularity of shopping, and the major one is that

this

activity can provide a perfect social atmosphere for the general public.

That is

because during the process of shopping, it is natural for

people

to talk about the clothes they try, the decoration styles of shops, and

price

Correct article usage

the price

show examples

changes of the brands they love, thereby,

people

can never feel awkward because of losing topics when shopping.

In addition

, they can find their similar aesthetic preferences about clothes in

this

procedure, leading to a deeper understanding and a fostered connection with their friends.

For example

, Maci, the largest shopping centre in Boston, is full of shoppers who see shopping as their best way to relax and get

along with

close friends,

according to

recent research by Harvard. The increasing popularity of shopping can have effects on individuals and

society

as a whole. On an individual level,

people

can get sufficient exercise at the time of shopping, because

people

believe the comparison is the key factor to

find

Wrong verb form

finding

show examples

their favourite clothes, and

this

requires a long distance walk in most cases, which could be undoubtfully beneficial to

people

who have to sit for an extended period of time in working days.

On the other hand

this

trend can

also

benefit the whole

society

because it can promote businesses. With more

people

willing to shop, entrepreneurs can sell their products at a quicker speed, leading to less storage and a larger amount of cash flow in their accounts.

Therefore

, they can afford to invest in the development of new products and machines, resulting in a prosperous economy in the entire country. In conclusion, there is an increasing number of

people

who take shopping as their favourite leisure activity because they can talk with friends and foster their connections in

this

progress, and

this

trend can be

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

advantageous to individuals by allowing for enough exercise and becoming healthier, and to the

society

as a whole by promoting the economy.

Submitted by mxinyao on Sun Jul 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction needs to give a clear indication of the writer's position and the structure of the essay. This will help the reader understand the purpose and direction of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses most parts of the task but could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the positive and negative effects of shopping as a leisure activity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

388 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
emotional satisfaction
consumerism
advertising influence
online shopping platforms
sense of pleasure
social interaction
boost the economy
compulsive shopping
materialism
environmental degradation
unsustainable demand
social inequalities
status through possessions

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Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

To what extent do you agree and/or disagree? Some people think that the only purpose of working hard is to earn money

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion