IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons What can employers do to make their life easier?

#people #work #hours #employers #life
In recent times, many individuals have
to
Add a missing verb
had to
show examples
work
 for longer
hours
, and they feel more stressed than previous generations. There are several reasons why many people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
work
 for long
hours
 including,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
work
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
technology
,
however
, there are some measures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
taken
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
 by
employers
 to
adressing
Correct your spelling
addressing
this
 issue namely,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the number of
work
hours
,
employers
 should not
contact
 with their
employees
 out of
official
Add an article
an official
the official
show examples
time
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
work
. On the one hand, the primary reason why people
work
 for long
hours
 nowadays is
increase
Change the verb form
to increase
increasing
show examples
 the demand at
work
. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies force their
employees
 to
work
 for long
hours
 in order to
increase
 the
producitivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
 among their
employees
.
This
 is because the job market
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days become more competitive and every company compete to provide
a better services
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better service
better services
show examples
 for their
expect
Change the form of the verb
expected
show examples
 customers.
Availability
Correct article usage
The availability
show examples
of
technology
 is another reason why people
work
 for long
hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. The
due to
 the fact that
employers
 can
contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their workers via
technology
 namely,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can put a lot of pressure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 workers.
For example
, some
employers
contact
 via
technology
 with their workers during late
time
 or their family
time
.
On the other hand
, there are some measures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
taken
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers
 to mitigate
this
 issue. The first effective solution,
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
employers
 could introduce
policy
Correct article usage
a policy
show examples
 in order to minimize
work
hours
.
For instance
, in Saudi
Arabia
Add a comma
,Arabia
show examples
 the maximum working
hours
 for all
employees
 is 48
hours
.
The
Correct article usage
Employers
show examples
employers
 should not
contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
employees
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of
official
Add an article
an official
the official
show examples
time
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
work
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help
employees
 to stay away
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their jobs.
Conseqently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
,
employees
 will have enough
time
 to
relaxation
Replace the word
relax
show examples
 and stay with their families.
To sum up
, There are different reasons why many individuals in In recent times for long
hours
 including,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 the
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
work
, availability of
technology
,
however
, there are some solutions
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
can
taken
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
 by
employers
 to tackle
this
 problem namely,
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
show examples
 the
work
hours
,
employers
 should not
contact
 with their
employees
 out of
official
Add an article
an official
the official
show examples
time
 of
work
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: