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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays
waching
Correct your spelling
watching
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
 or news
paper
Fix the agreement mistake
papers
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always can see
youngester
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
 who commit crimes.
As a
Change preposition
A
show examples
robbary
Correct your spelling
robbery
 or a violent attack should be
punishment
Replace the word
punished
show examples
 in the same punishment
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
show examples
 person. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
these
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
day
Use synonyms
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 who want to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Pocket money. they used
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
commit crimes. As an example who go out of
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
tthey
Correct your spelling
they
 used drugs. As
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
alcohol,
sigarat
Correct your spelling
sugar
 and drugs . after that who
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 know what they doing
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Body paragraph 2
On the
ather
Correct your spelling
other
 hand,
pearance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 doesn't know about that.they
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 spend money for
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
feading
Correct your spelling
wedding
.
Day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 they spend many
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 drugs. These days student
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 addicted
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 ICE it
affct
Correct your spelling
affect
 for after
twe
Correct your spelling
the
two
 three years ago those get weak and die.
Body paragraph 3
Finally
Linking Words
, I believe that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and police
togethe
Correct your spelling
together
 can
decid
Correct your spelling
decide
 to parance and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who have to give
Correct article usage
a leacturse
show examples
leacturse
Correct your spelling
lectures
lecture
. As an example
gavernment
Correct your spelling
government
 give advertising ,TV program and
newes
Correct your spelling
news
 perper they should always be
imformed
Correct your spelling
informed
.
Conclusion
In conclusion , I think youth should be punished well as adults.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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