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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to gibe longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views

#people #crime #gibe #prison #sentences #alternative
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Today It is impossible to imagine modern life in peace.
Although
Linking Words
 the government does everything for
level
Add an article
the level
a level
show examples
 of
crime
Use synonyms
diminishing
Change the verb form
to diminish
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, it still continues to be a huge problem in society,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes inhabitants think about
this
Linking Words
 issue.
While
Linking Words
 the majority believe that prolongation of
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
 is the best route to eradicate criminality, others argue that there are more effective ways to provide
unassailable
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the unassailable
an unassailable
show examples
 world. The extension of
imprisonments
Fix the agreement mistake
imprisonment
show examples
 is beneficial for several reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, long
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
 can cut down crimes in
psychological
Change the article
a psychological
show examples
 way.
In other words
Linking Words
, prisoners who experienced long-term confinement face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficulties in returning to ordinary life. Usually,
this
Linking Words
 kind of people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not accepted by society,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes them think twice before committing the
crime
Use synonyms
 again.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 stay in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Use synonyms
 will stop a person
committing
Change preposition
from committing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be useful in reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, someone
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 that
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
 are not so effective, arguing that prisoners live at the expense of the state, having appropriate life conditions,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 three meals per day, shower and
furthermore
Linking Words
, criminals are able to get a job with salaries.
Thus
Linking Words
, inhabitants offer other ways to reduce criminality,
such
Linking Words
 as free community work and for
strict
Add an article
the strict
show examples
 crimes death penalty. People explain that free community work might be helpful for criminals to save their humanity by involving them in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
instead
Linking Words
 of interacting with other criminals in
prison
Use synonyms
. With all that being said, it is possible to say, that both
prolongation
Correct article usage
the prolongation
show examples
Use synonyms
prison
Change preposition
of prison
show examples
sentences
Use synonyms
 and
integration
Correct article usage
the integration
show examples
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
 ways for reducing crimes each has own advantages.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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