IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Rich countries should not give jobs to the skilled workers (for example doctors and engineers) of poor countries as they are needed by their home country more than rich countries. How far do you agree or disagree with the statements given?

Rich
countries
Use synonyms
 offer many pathways for the people residing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
Use synonyms
. One of them is the job offering scheme.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the top
countries
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, decide the work strategies for outsiders
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 when they fail to achieve the required level to maintain their
economy
Punctuation problem
economy,
show examples
 they prefer calling them.
In addition
Linking Words
, some of the
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
such
Linking Words
 as the USA, Canada, and America provide a chance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners to come and work. The pupils from the lower origins always feel
fascinating
Replace the word
fascinated
show examples
 to be a part of one of the developed
countries
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, till the year 2025, Canada has
indentified
Correct your spelling
identified
 the shortage of labour and
thus
Linking Words
, they have been planning to migrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners in huge
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 to
fulfill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 their need.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 has
also
Linking Words
 launched
Tier
Correct article usage
the Tier
show examples
 2 visa policy again. Elaborating more, the Tier 2 refers to the immigration of educated individuals
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers. The skilled
workers
Punctuation problem
workers,
show examples
 when
get
Correct word order
they get
show examples
 the
oppoutunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to work abroad they ignore the fact that their hometown
also
Linking Words
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
 their presence for the community services
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
instead
Linking Words
, they prefer to join
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 for the sake of earning money and residency. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 in the fact,
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 educated workers should probably opt to stay for their people. The
under-developed
Use the right word
underdeveloped
show examples
 portion of the world
do not
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
 afford to hire from
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the world and,
consequently
Linking Words
, the nation fails to provide basic facilities to
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the area might be discouraged
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 raising it financially.
To sum up
Linking Words
, moving to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 is indeed a perfect chance to explore the world
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not beneficial for the country and its
habitants
Use the right word
inhabitants
show examples
.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep a clear line of argument through the essay. Add more main reasons with simple facts or real examples.
coherence
Split the text into small parts. Use paragraphs for each main idea. Use easy link words to show the order of ideas and finish with a short last line that restates your view.
stance
A clear stance is shown that skilled workers should stay in their own country.
evidence
Some real examples are used (Tier 2, Canada) to show the idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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