Some people feel that there is too much emphasis on getting an education, and that the government should spend money on leisure time activities for young people too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #emphasis #education #government #money #leisure #time #activities

Nowadays, there is a group of people who argue that excessive investment in

education

has overshadowed the importance of recreational activities. Personally, I understand and acknowledge both perspectives, and I would like to explore

this

topic

further

this

essay. On one hand,

education

lays the foundation for the development of a country and should,

therefore

, be its top priority. It is undeniable that developed nations possess significantly more advanced

education

systems than those of their developing counterparts. By way of illustration, the United States, being a global leader, owes much of its success to a prestigious

education

system that includes renowned institutions

such

as Havard, Yale and Stanford universities.

Moreover

, a well-established

education

system not only contributes to the economic growth of a country but

also

fosters social awareness and civility.

On the other hand

, as life becomes increasingly hectic, everyone is prone to pressure from various aspects.

Therefore

, the needs for entertainment are practical and reasonable. Studies have shown that workers with a better work-life balance often outperform ones who constantly grind and endure stress, despite the fact that the former invest fewer hours in their jobs.

Furthermore

, people tend to have a stronger passion for their professions when they have a well-balanced life between working and relaxation, resulting in enhanced productivity and, ultimately, a more flourishing economy and society. In conclusion,

while

education

should remain the primary focus of a country, given its direct impact on the prosperity of its people, recreational activities should not be disregarded and they deserve meaningful investment to create a balanced and fulfilling life. I firmly believe that a nation can truly thrive when it achieves

this

equilibrium.

Submitted by nhiyen3104 on Mon Jul 17 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasis on education
personal and societal development
holistic approach
extracurricular activities
mental health
physical health
youth development
invest
skills and knowledge
government's responsibility
personal development
social skills
youth delinquency
balanced approach
wellbeing

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Some people feel that there is too much emphasis on getting an education, and that the government should spend money on leisure time activities for young people too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, many countries help other countries by giving free food, medical, or other aid. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this for countries that give and receive?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Most school offers some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical education classes be required or optional?