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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being over weight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

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There are more
people
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 who are at risk for major
health
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 issues
as a result
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 of being overweight.
This
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 statement will discuss both in detail.
firstly
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, the major issue is eating fast
food
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. most of the family selected an easy lifestyle and they are trying different menus. All over the world have changed their
food
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-making style because of new meal experiments.
For instance
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, most fast
food
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 making by using oil and if
people
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 eat
this
Linking Words
then
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 their gain more calories.
on the other hand
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, most
people
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 gain weight because of oil and carbohydrate
food
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.
For example
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, two decades ago Asian
people
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 used more species and they made their main meals at home. They had their own
food
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 patterns. It was so healthy and homemade
food
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.
people
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 prevent critical
health
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 issues because of their
food
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.
Secondly
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, most families have busy lives these days because of their job. they don'
t
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 have free time to exercise and they don'
t
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 think about their body shape. some are in a stressful life and sometimes if they are stressed they try to eat more
food
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.
Besides
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, their meal preparation style is quick and they try to eat more
food
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 from the restaurant. In that case, I believe
people
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 need more education about their
health
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 and society should change with their thinking patterns. If social media or any program can change
people
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's habits and they can speak to
people
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's hearts.
In addition
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, the government
also
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 can make some protection for fast
food
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. in conclusion, unhealthy
people
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 are effective for the
health
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 sector because it is so highly cost for medicine. and overweight
people
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 can'
t
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 work and they can'
t
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 do their job properly. it is
also
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 effective for the government.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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