People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown from other areas. As a results, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantage of this tend outweigh the disadvantage?

Citizens,
Correct pronoun usage
who having
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a wide range of
food
, are more likely to eat more
food
grown in other regions than those grown in local areas. From my perspective, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks in general.
First,
one positive aspect of widening
food
resources is related to individuals' health. Some special crops or fruits are only produced in certain areas, considering the restriction of humidity and temperature. If people have access to various
food
supplies, rather than solely sticking to the local
food
, they will possess a more balanced and beneficial diet, which means they can absorb more nutrition and have a higher fitness level.
Otherwise
, inhabitants may suffer from some illnesses, including avitaminosis, stomachache, and other health-related issues.
Moreover
, individuals’ wide variety of
food
can
also
bring another profit to those who cultivate
food
in other religions. In the past, the domain of trace was limited because of the undeveloped transport, to some degree restricting the formers’ income. Nowadays, citizens eat more exotic
food
rather than local
food
, promoting the agricultural industry and boosting the economy. Farmers in other provinces can
also
share wide customer resources, able to earn more than before.
However
, it is significant to note the negative aspect of dependence on other religions, especially other countries. Some main
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
,
such
as rice and beans, cannot be totally relied on import.
On the contrary
, it is the domestic
food
resource that should account for the majority of the market share. Only by doing
this
, can the economy
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
stable when other nations cut down the
food
supplies. To
summary up
Replace the word
summarise
show examples
, having a wide range of
food
resources is beneficial for consumers' health
as well as
farmers’ income. But in the domain of countries, the main resource of important
food
should be commanded by the nation.
Submitted by 3200103839 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately address the prompt. Your introduction should clearly state whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position. Additionally, make sure your main points are directly related to the topic and are developed logically in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and your main points are supported with examples and explanations. To improve, ensure that your ideas are linked together smoothly and that you use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, transition words) to connect your ideas within and between sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!