IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalising all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.

#people #drugs
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It's often argued by
people
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 that the problems caused by
drugs
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 can be solved by legalizing all
drugs
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 . Even though it would reduce crime dealing with
drugs
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 ,I
firmily
Correct your spelling
firmly
 believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages . On one hand , the significant reason why illegal
drugs
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 becoming a major concern is
due to
Linking Words
 the strict laws regarding
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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 of the
drugs
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 . If the government
initiate
Wrong verb form
initiated
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 a law that would allow
people
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 to acquire
limited
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a limited
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 amount of
drugs
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 that would result in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 crimes .
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 it would reduce the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
drugs
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 that are bought into the
country
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 illegally,
For instance
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 ,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the
people
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 who cross
border
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the border
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 to another
country
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 are trying to bring
drugs
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 into the
country
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 , Once the
drugs
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 are available in their
country
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 ,
people
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 will not try to cross the border which would reduce crimes drastically .
On the other hand
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 , the
effect
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effects
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 of
drugs
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 are unpredictable and it could cause a lot of harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society if it's easily available in the
country
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 .
For example
Linking Words
 , young children in rural areas are addicted to smoking ganja ,
this
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 is mainly because the government has permitted a limited amount to be given to the public . Even though the minimum age required to acquire
drugs
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 above 18 , young children find a way to get them and misuse
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Therefore
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 it's not a good initiative to allow
drugs
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 as it would have a negative effect on the young population . In conclusion , government implementing laws that would allow
people
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 to buy
drugs
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 in the
country
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 would reduce crime and illegal
drugs
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,
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however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the effect it would have on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society would be severe,
Therefore
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 it is important for the authorities to not allow
drugs
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 at any cost and to have strict punishment that will prevent
this
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 from happening
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

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