IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that increasing the number of police officers on the street is the only effective way to reduce crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #police #officers #street #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued by
people
 , that the number of police
officers
 working on the street is the only effective way to reduce
crimes
 . I strongly believe
this
 statement as the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
 happen on the street .
Firstly
 , a huge number of
crimes
 happen in the city,
this
 is because of the lack of police
officers
, Offenders use
this
 as an advantage and strike at innocent
people
 ,
for instance
, it's easy for a gold snatcher to snatch chains from the public if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
officers
 to prevent
this
 from happening,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 it's not possible for one or two
officers
 to prevent
this
 from happening as they would be outnumbered by the lawbreakers .
Secondly
, more
officers
 patrolling
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the streets would have a significant decrease in
crimes
 ,
additionally
Add a comma
,additionally
show examples
this
 would help
people
 feel more comfortable
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
there cites
Correct your spelling
their cities
show examples
 and homes,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 it's the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety of their
people
 . In conclusion , there might be different ways to reduce
crimes
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it would not benefit the
people
 .
therefore
, I believe that the only necessary action needed to reduce
crimes
 is by increasing police power on the streets .
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: