IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Nowadays, technology is
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
people
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
's, especially in their relationships with other
people
Use synonyms
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 think that social
media
Use synonyms
 has
took
Change the verb form
taken
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teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
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life
Use synonyms
 and spend all their time
on
Change preposition
apply
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using their cellphones, just for searching new followers
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
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,
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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, and Snapchat, and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 their
connected
Replace the word
connection
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 with real
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 their lives.
However
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 make the
life
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers even
the
Correct article usage
apply
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elderly
people
Use synonyms
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 their
life
Use synonyms
easer
Correct your spelling
easier
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, by
connected
Change the form of the verb
connecting
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 with each other
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 these apps and
call
Wrong verb form
calling
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 each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 by them. I personally feel that social
media
Use synonyms
 is not a good way to
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
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 with
people
Use synonyms
 and build relationships with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. In terms of building
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relationships
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
, those
people
Use synonyms
 they know may be dangerous,
first
Add a comma
,first
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 they seem nice but after a
Linking Words
while
Add a comma
,while
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 they blackmail them to send their pictures or their house location so they can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
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them and hurt them. Social
media
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may be dangerous for
children's
Change noun form
children
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 and teenagers. It should be allowed for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are over 18 years old and
also
Linking Words
 put some instructions teach them how to use these apps in a good and
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 way. Lots of
people
Use synonyms
 think that social
media
Use synonyms
 improve the connection
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and their families, but its wrong, the connected of
people
Use synonyms
 and their families
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
better
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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meet in a place or wherever they want, because when they meet each other they will be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
happier and feel the power of their connection. In conclusion, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 is dangerous for individuals and some of them think that the advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh of disadvantages.
However
Linking Words
, the world would be much better if
people
Use synonyms
 stop using social
media
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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