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Band 4.5

Fast food is becoming one part of life everywhere, this has bad effects on our lifestyles and diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #effects #lifestyles #diet
In
this
 fast-paced era,
due to
 hectic life schedules and tongue tastes, canned
food
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 an indispensable part of our daily life.
This
 habit inclines obesity and major diseases in humans, they are facing severe health-related issues on a regular basis. I am completely in favour of
this
 notion.
This
 processed
food
 is not hygienic for people. The majority of the masses are obese because of too much consumption of junk
food
. They eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as it is an instant recipe and easily available. They do not need to disburse an hour to prepare it. Processed pizza,
for instance
, is easy and fast to cook. A person has to take off the packaging
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
place it in the oven and set the timer. After 10 minutes, it would be ready to serve. Individuals do not need to follow the long procedures for making it edible, all the stuffings and toppings are already inside it.
Hence
,
this
 laziness is increasing the unwanted fat in a person. Moving
further
,
as
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 large
quantity usage
Replace the word
quantities
show examples
 of fast
food
, people are suffering from heart diseases and liver infections. Cholesterol level is escalating among the masses, so, they have to pop up to the hospitals very often. The liver is getting fatty, in
this
 case, they are not able to digest anything.
According to
 the BBC report, 70% of folks are hospitalized every month because of eating unhealthy meals. Researchers pointed out that these figures could increase in coming years if individuals would not halt taking prepackaged
food
 on a daily basis.
As a result
, these edible things are
forming
Verb problem
causing
show examples
 serious concerns towards our health.
To conclude
, the notion that frozen
food
 is unhealthy for us is because we are experiencing numerous health complications.
Therefore
,
this
 should be avoided to keep our body fit and fine and stay away from serious illness.
Submitted by navdeepbajwa975 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay showed good organization and appropriate development of ideas. The logical structure needs improvement. The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more effective. The main points are supported but need more clarity and depth.
task achievement
The response is complete and the ideas are clear and comprehensible. However, specific examples need to be more relevant and detailed.
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