IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we havee too many choices. To what extent do you agree or dissagree with this statement?

#people #havee #choices #dissagree
It is argued by some individuals that these days
people
 have abundance
preferences
Change preposition
of preferences
show examples
.
This
 essay agrees with the statement and will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reasons why the phenomenon is
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
.
To begin
 with, easy access to
information
 is the main reason why individuals have too many choices nowadays. Social media like Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok are the sources that
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 by many
people
 to access
information
 conveniently. They only need to download social media apps
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their phones.
For instance
,
people
 will look for the types of destinations in some places on Instagram, and the Instagram
alghoritm
Correct your spelling
algorithm
 will bring
people
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of recommended places.
Thus
, the
alghoritm
Correct your spelling
algorithm
 leads
people
 to lots of alternatives on what places they look for.
In other words
, the easier
information
 is obtained, the more
people
 have many options.
In addition
, the advancement of
technology
 is another fundamental factor for
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 issue. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years,
technology
 launched
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
type of payment tools or digital
payments
 like OVO,
Go Pay
Add a hyphen
Go-Pay
show examples
, and Link Aja.
People
 just scan bar
code
Fix the agreement mistake
codes
show examples
 or QRIS to pay,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 they just bring their devices to pay. Those
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
payments
 make
people
 confuse because the benefits of digital
payments
 offer.
For example
,
people
 may get
price
Correct article usage
a price
show examples
 reduction when they use OVO, and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
occasions
Add a comma
,occasions
show examples
people
 prefer to use Link Aja because it offers
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of points that can change into money.
Consequently
,
people
 have more than two
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
payments
 because of the payment
technology
.
To sum up
, it is true that in
this
 era humans have lots of preferences
due to
 the easy access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
information
 and the advancement of
technology
 in terms of digital payment.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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