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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph represents the survey results, which identify the
reasons
Use synonyms
 why
people
Use synonyms
 moved to the capital city of a specific country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the huge amount of
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the capital city is about
employment
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 moving for the reason of
adventure
Use synonyms
 is a small
number
Use synonyms
. The amount of
people
Use synonyms
 with a reason to study has increased extremely over time. From 2000 to 2005, Moving for the purpose of
employment
Use synonyms
 had risen extremely up to 85000.
Also
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who move for studying increased enormously to almost 50000 in 2005.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 for
reasons
Use synonyms
 of family and
adventure
Use synonyms
 increased slightly in 2005, accounting for 15000 and 13000 in order. From 2005 to 2010, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with
reasons
Use synonyms
 for
employment
Use synonyms
 and studying increased continuously to about 90000 and 55000 in order. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 moving for
adventure
Use synonyms
 increased slightly and constantly to 15000 in 2010. Surprisingly, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with
reasons
Use synonyms
 of family and friends rose enormously to about 20000 in 2010. From 2010 to 2015, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 moving with
reasons
Use synonyms
 of
employment
Use synonyms
 turned down approximately 85000.
Also
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of those with
reasons
Use synonyms
 to study rose to 85000 as well. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with
reasons
Use synonyms
 of family and
adventure
Use synonyms
 remains stable, accounting for about 20000 and 15000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, people, employment, number, adventure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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