IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in hot climate, while others like to live in cold climate.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #climate
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Climate has a significant impact on
people
Use synonyms
’s
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as the way to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take a trip and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
keep healthy. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is more comfortable to live in high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others suggest that cold
weather
Use synonyms
 is more suitable for
people
Use synonyms
 to live in. I personally prefer to live in a hotter environment, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will make an explanation and discuss the two standpoints mentioned above.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several advantages to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
hot
Add an article
a hot
the hot
show examples
 climate. One benefit is that many outdoor activities. Take climbing, biking and jogging
for example
Linking Words
, these three exercises will be easier to do when the
weather
Use synonyms
 is great, and thanks to the long daytime, those who take part in these activities may have a better sight
while
Linking Words
 doing them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a higher heat often leads to a higher possibility to sweat. Admittedly, sweating may make
people
Use synonyms
 smell disgusting and feel uncomfortable;
however
Linking Words
, as everyone knows, it is undoubtedly an efficient way to help our bodies burn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unwanted fat.
According to
Linking Words
 the World Health Organization, those who sweat more could stay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fit much easier since their sweat glands stay active most of the time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from the perspective of the proponents of cold
weather
Use synonyms
, they will choose to live in a cooler region because of the reasons below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the storage of food may be much easier since the temperature degree is suitable to keep them fresh.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with a lower temperature degree, the world
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 quitter and make
people
Use synonyms
 feel calm when working. In conclusion, despite the benefits of cold
weather
Use synonyms
, I would like to stay in
hot
Correct article usage
a hot
show examples
 climate region
instead
Linking Words
 because I am a lover of outdoor activities, and I can not stand wearing too many clothes at one time which may make me look fatter.
Submitted by juinneuf231069buying on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: