The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
Introduction:
This
report is aimed to discuss and compare the data that can be obtained from the graph. The graph itself gives us an idea about the 3 different types of
communication
and the amount of people communicationg through them to the Tourist information Office. Data: I can be seen that the amount op people who were using the in person communiocation has significantly increased through the time. Wheres it started from the least position of
users
rounding to the 420 in the Janiary it has exponentially increased up to 1900
users
per months in June. The telephone
communication
has
also
expanded by flactuating from 900
users
in the January and could be seen in the position of the 1600 communicating pople to the office in June Letter/email was on the second place at the start of the recording,
however
with time it is results have significantly decreased. By starting with 790
users
in January the amount of
users
had progressively decreasing with each month rounding up to 290
users
in June. Conclusion: The in person
communication
had showes greatest progress in people
communication
through it and letter/email could be stated that was the least demending way of communicating. The telephone way of communicating met the demand and supply and had linear expansion
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words communication, users with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
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