Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, the idea that extra duty should be posed on children to alleviate financial tension is singled out as a concern preoccupying parents. It is irrefutable that the economic theme that can establish a stress-free upbringing environment is ideal for their offspring,

however

Linking Words

, I agree that adolescents should be proactive to run errands for monetary rewards. On the one hand, earning a lucrative income is an unattainable goal without a consummate skillset in any specific profession, especially in

such

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a thriving economy

as well as

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the merciless and demanding workforce. Had it not been for being honed in formative years, adolescents would not stand a chance to land well-paid jobs, since they must acquire proper knowledge to meet all requirements.

For instance

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, minors who adopt a side job after school will be fully equipped with formal etiquette and self-reflection, especially those working in the service sector,

therefore

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they can improvise in different circumstances.

On the other hand

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, there are compelling rationales behind the fixation on letting children be carefree during their childhood. It is noteworthy that self-indulgence and pastime can recharge their battery and restore motivation after the treadmill of endless classes.

Thus

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, without sufficient resting phase, a child's growth will be hampered, and in worst-case scenarios,

this

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will entail chronic mental health issues

such

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as chronic anxiety and depression.

For example

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, minors raised in slum settings,

due to

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parents' income, which can not suffice to pay charges, are left with the legacy of being overburdened and constrained by tiny allowances in comparison with their counterparts. In conclusion, the juxtaposition of both distinct childrearing methodologies can highlight the benefits of the adoption of part-time jobs. Not only can it implicitly ensure far-fetching implications including spurring the all-rounded development and triggering a leap in mindset, but it

also

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acts as a vocational guideline

as well as

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an incentive.

ngocnong.workTue Jul 18 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You live in a block of flats, your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord.