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Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Some individuals feel that the better method to minimize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
 is to give longer jail
sentences
. Others,
however
, think there are effective alternative methods of minimizing
crime
. In my opinion, the efficient way to mitigate the rate of
crime
 is longer
prison
sentences
 because it use to deter and
rehabilitation
Replace the word
rehabilitate
show examples
 offenders. On the one hand, some think
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way to reduce the rate of
crime
 rather than longer
prison
sentences
. They think
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals
 have
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 level of education, which means they do not know
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
negative consequences of their
crime
 on
the
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apply
show examples
society and
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
A
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
 a result , if government provide a good education for
people
 can contribute to
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
people
 about what
wrong
Add a missing verb
is wrong
show examples
 and right.
For example
, the school curriculum should have
Correct article usage
a suject
show examples
suject
Correct your spelling
subject
 about
crime
 in order to raise awareness among students.
On the other hand
, I would like to agree with
thoses
Correct your spelling
those
people
 who
beilive
Correct your spelling
believe
 the effective method to reduce the rate of
crime
 is putting the offenders behind bars for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
perieod
Correct your spelling
periods
period
.
This
 is because longer
prison
sentences
 make
criminals
 think twice before
commit
Change the verb form
committing
show examples
 their
crime
, which means
deter
Wrong verb form
deterring
show examples
criminlas
Correct your spelling
criminals
 to turn to
crime
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, longer
prison
sentences
 give
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 for
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to
rehabilitation
Replace the word
rehabilitate
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
felons.
For example
, the government can teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
 vocational training.
Therefore
, Offenders when they release can find a better jobs opportunity, which means less
crime
 because the main reason to turn
people
 to
crime
 is poverty.
To sum up
, From my perspective, longer jail
sentences
 is
efficient
Add an article
an efficient
show examples
 method
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing
crime
 because it is used to deter
people
 to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
, and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
Add a comma
,prison
show examples
 felons can learn useful skills to help them in
porfessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 life in order to lift them from poverty
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because poverty is the major cause of
crime
 .
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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