Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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today international
tourism
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is the largest industry in the world.
People
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travel to different countries for fun, adventure, or to learn about new cultures. Some
people
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believe that
tourism
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creates problems between
people
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from different backgrounds
instead
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of helping them understand each other. I partly agree with
this
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opinion. On the one hand,
tourism
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can cause tension. Visitors may not respect local customs or traditions.
For example
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, they might wear clothes that are not acceptable in some cultures or behave in a way that seems rude.
This
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can make local
people
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feel disrespected.
Also
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,
tourism
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can lead to overcrowding, pollution, and rising prices, making life harder for local
people
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. Sometimes, tourists act carelessly, damaging historical sites or the environment, which can create anger.
On the other hand
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,
tourism
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can
also
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bring
people
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together. When
travelers
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travellers
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meet locals, they can learn about different ways of life.
This
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can help break stereotypes and reduce fear of other cultures. Many tourists try local food, enjoy traditional music, and take part in cultural activities.
This
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helps them appreciate the country they visit.
Tourism
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also
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helps local businesses and creates jobs, which can improve
people
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’s lives. In conclusion, international
tourism
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can cause tension if
people
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do not respect local customs.
However
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, it can
also
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help
people
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understand each other and make the world more connected. To reduce problems, both tourists and locals should be open-minded and respectful.
This
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way,
tourism
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can bring more benefits than harm.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the second half of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You might use more linking phrases to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, which sets a good tone for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively present both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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