Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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this

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modern era, it is easier to get in touch with one another from

other

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another country

other countries

show examples

country

Use synonyms

which can build

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cultural awareness than over the

last

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10 years. People can use social media technology

such

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as Facebook, Twitter,

Youtube

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YouTube

show examples

Tiktok

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TikTok

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, or even an open-chat

in game

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in-game

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to communicate with a stranger that you do not know each other before.

However

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, for the Tourism Industry which

recommend

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recommends

show examples

people

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apply

show examples

gain

first

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first-hand

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hand

Use synonyms

experience rather than the information on screen that might not be completely true. In

this

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regard, I think it

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is quiet

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quiet

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quite

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hard for them to adapt themselves

with

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show examples

the new

tradition

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not to mention

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about language or food, but the real atmosphere you will gain when you

travel

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are travelling

show examples

Change the verb form

does

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not

make

Verb problem

cause

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any

serius

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serious

trouble

problem

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problems

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, but

excited

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excitement

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to the tourist, I

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

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. People in each

country

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have their own cultures and

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tradition

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traditions

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which

Correct word choice

and

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they share the same memorable historical activity together. To be honest, it

seem

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seems

show examples

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apply

show examples

some

nation

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nations

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were already mix up

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Add an article

the tradition

show examples

tradition

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traditions

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

some point because of immigration in the past or

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

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same continent.

Thus

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, tourists might not think these

culture

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cultures

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were

Wrong verb form

are

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completely new

for

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show examples

them and become something that they

familiar

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are familiar

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with. Even

thought

Correct your spelling

though

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, they can gain a

second

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second-hand

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hand

Use synonyms

experience

before

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apply

show examples

when they

were

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are

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planning for their trip.

On the other

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hand

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, it is

posible

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possible

if tourists

paln

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plan

for

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show examples

travel to some

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country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

that

far

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are far

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away from you

such

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as from Europe to South Asia. If they

not

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do not

did not

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prepare and study hard enough

while

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they planning, they may have a

culure

Correct your spelling

culture

shock. I understand whether that

sitution

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situation

will cause

your

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

tension, but at

first,

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when you travel around, I do believe that

this

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feeling will not

along with

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them

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

Change preposition

for so

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long. In fact, when the

tourits

Correct your spelling

tourists

saw the culture and

tradition

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on the smartphone screen and television that were

display

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displayed

show examples

an amazing culture that maybe they

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not even realize it

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show examples

exist

Wrong verb form

existed

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. They so looking forward to

see

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seeing

show examples

spectacular

Add an article

the spectacular

a spectacular

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thing

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things

show examples

before visiting and it might be the same as you imagine or it might not be but at least they understand what they going to see. To

be conclude

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conclude

show examples

, I think it nothing new

for

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show examples

this

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technology era, you can search for everything in order to get as

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

much as possible data about the

country

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you plan

for travelling

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to travel

show examples

Change preposition

to.

show examples

Therefore

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, it will not be a big surprise for

those traveller

Change the determiner

that traveller

those travellers

show examples

because you can receive a

second

Add a hyphen

second-hand

show examples

hand

Use synonyms

experience.

Besided

Correct your spelling

Besides

instead

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of stress, they

shold

Correct your spelling

should

exited

Correct your spelling

excited

show examples

about the different cultures.

kanchanakularathna1991Wed Jul 19 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the clarity in your arguments by better organizing your paragraphs with distinct main ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single concept related to the overall argument.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This helps the reader immediately understand what each paragraph will discuss.

task achievement

Be careful with spelling and grammatical inaccuracies as they can sometimes obscure your meaning. For example, check words like 'quiet' (should be 'quite') and 'serius' (should be 'serious').

task achievement

Add more specific examples or case studies to support your claims. This would enhance the relevance and depth of your response and make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion needs clearer summarization of your main points. It should succinctly restate your thesis and the significance of your argument regarding tourism and cultural understanding.

task achievement

You demonstrate a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument regarding tourism and cultural exchange, which is commendable.

task achievement

It's clear that you have a genuine interest in the topic, which comes through in your writing. Your personal insights about cultural awareness are valuable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
66
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

421 words

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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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Newspapers have immense influence on people. why? Is it a positive or negative situation?

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part-time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.