Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do? Or do you feel children have enough education at school?
One of the widely spread issues today is that many parents nowadays occupy their
children
with different activities after school
, whereas
others think that school
education
is fully enough for their children
. From my perspective, in recent decades educational programs and opportunities for children
become much more
better than in past.
First of all, with Change the word
apply
development
of digital technologies, schools included a lot of beneficial instruments for teaching pupils Correct article usage
the development
effective
, Change the word
effectively
furthermore
all the information is checked several times and Add a comma
furthermore,
became
easier to understand. Wrong verb form
becomes
That is
the main reason of
why today's students should not have Change preposition
apply
an extra lessons
after Correct the article-noun agreement
extra lessons
an extra lesson
school
rather than spending that time to
sports or Change preposition
on
another activities
. The good point in Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
this
case is that the research of students from Nazarbayev University concluded, that the level of education
among the youngsters of schools
years Change the noun form
school
get
to the mark of Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
ninety nine
per cent, in comparison with the numbers of 1920th, Add a hyphen
ninety-nine
that is
the very high result.
On the other hand
, even with the excellent conditions of education
the grade rates depend on Add a comma
education,
whos
feet shoe is on, because some students better study math and Correct your spelling
whose
another
linguistics, so in Correct quantifier usage
other
this
case it
could Correct pronoun usage
apply
be inneeded
some help to understand some topics. Wrong verb form
need
For example
, Albert Einstein was terrible in
learning languages, but Change preposition
at
genius
in physics, in Correct article usage
a genius
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
Fix the agreement mistake
reality
realities
he would need Add a comma
realities,
the
good grades Correct article usage
apply
from
all the subjects to pass to Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
a top
top rated
university.
Concluding and Add a hyphen
top-rated
mentioning
into account all the ideas, I can deduce that today's Verb problem
taking
children
do not need an extra classes
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extra class
extra classes
of
Change preposition
in
school
subjects, I believe that in future education
would
develop and Wrong verb form
will
such
question will not be discussed.Submitted by dnm.best on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy of your sentences to make your ideas clearer. Errors can sometimes obscure your intended meaning.
relevant specific examples
Ensure that the examples you provide are entirely relevant and strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning Albert Einstein is interesting, but could benefit from more direct relevance to the main argument.
logical structure
Try to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the reader's understanding and coherence of your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and a conclusion, giving it a solid structure.
task achievement
Presents a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument. It concludes with a personal stance supported by arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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