Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people’s health. Some say the way to ask people to eat less fast food is to educate them, while others say education does not work. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#scientists #junk #food #people’s #health #say #people #education #work

It is irrefutable that

junk

food

is harmful to

people

’s health. It contains a lot of fats and salts which are detrimental to health.

Therefore

some

people

say that

people

should be educated and made aware of its harmful effects.

However

, others opine that education does not help in making

people

eat less

junk

food

. In the following

paragraphs

Add a comma

,paragraphs

show examples

I intend to discuss both issues and

finally

give my opinion. Some opine that educating

people

about the harmful effects of

junk

food

can help in reducing its use. The fact is that

people

don’t actually know what goes

Change preposition

on in

show examples

the making of fast

food

. Fast

foods

are high in calories and low in nutrition. These

foods

are rich in harmful substances

such

as fat, salt, and sugar. Preservatives are

also

added

Change preposition

show examples

junk

food

. All these things can cause heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

, cancer, diabetes, and obesity. Obesity is one of the major problems in the world today. It is very important to reduce eating

Junk

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy life. So, if

people

are warned about their bad effects, they would eat less of it.

This

can be done with the help of media

such

as TV which is ubiquitous nowadays.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

some believe that educating

people

won’t help because

junk

food

is very cheap, tasty and readily available. After a hectic

days

Change noun form

day's

show examples

work no one is in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

mood to spend time in the kitchen and so

junk

food

is very convenient. It is

also

not very expensive and children love it. What is more, fast

food

outlets spend a lot to lure

people

with their ads

Change the punctuation

show examples

What

people

don’t realize is that the celebs they use in these ads hardly ever eat

such

food

themselves and if they do,

then

they

also

spend hours working out in the gym every day. After considering the convenience of fast

foods

, I believe that educating

people

would not help. It would be better if these fast

food

outlets were educated about making fast

food

healthier. Strict rules should be laid down against using trans-fatty acids and saturated fats. Whole wheat

breads

Change the wording

bread

pieces of bread

loaves of bread

slices of bread

show examples

could be used

instead

of white

breads

Change the wording

bread

pieces of bread

loaves of bread

slices of bread

show examples

Use

Correct article usage

The use

show examples

of preservatives should be lessened and juices should be served

along with

such

foods

instead

of carbonated drinks. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, fast

food

is harmful but still

people

eat it.

Therefore

, educating

people

would not help. Measures should be taken to improve the fast

food

. After all, all fast

food

is not bad.

Submitted by zahraasmi2001 on Wed Jul 19 2023

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for instance
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such as
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to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

421 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Scientists say that junk food is harmful to people’s health. Some say the way to ask people to eat less fast food is to educate them, while others say education does not work. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rates now-a-days is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should learn how to compete, but other think that children should be taught to cooperatevto become more useful adults. Express some reasons for both views and give your opinion.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.