The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The two pie chart gives information concerning the five type of

devices

people in the 18 to 25 age group prefer to watch television in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

, the data clearly shows that the flat-screen

and conventional

showed significant changes over the period

while

the Desktop showed slight changes over the period . In 2009, the largest portion of

devices

was conventional

. it accounted for 34%.

In contrast

, tablets comprised

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

only 5% of the total.

This

was followed by flat-screen

(8%). The size of these two

devices

combined(13%) was smaller than the proportion of mobile phones(15%). In 2019, the share of conventional

decreased the most by 30%.

On the other hand

, tablets almost quadrupled to 19% of total

devices

. Taken together, it is noteworthy that mobile phones and flat-screen

accounted for the majority of the

devices

.(53%)

Meanwhile

Add a comma

,Meanwhile

show examples

desktop computers and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

remained constant without significant changes.

Submitted by ku-hmi on Wed Jul 19 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words devices, tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

156 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

What to do next:

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Prison is the comman way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.