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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that children should be taught from a young age how to handle money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believed that
children
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 should be taught when they are at a young
age
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 how to handle
money
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. In my opinion, I partly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will explain my argument. On the one hand, I think
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught about the economy has some advantages. From my perspective, the main benefit of it is that it helps
children
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 improve their awareness about
money
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 and
thus
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 they can save or they spend
money
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 in a reasonable way, so they can have a sum of
money
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 to buy something without asking for
money
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 from parents, from that, they will be more active in paying and support themselves and their parents.
For instance
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, if they have traffic violations, they may pay a fine.
Moreover
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 , they not only can understand the value of
money
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 and avoid them being wasteful, but
also
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 manage their finance and control the amount of
money
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 they pay.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 study
this
Linking Words
 economic statement, so they may have experience or new skills about that for our life.
On the other hand
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, teaching
children
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 from a young
age
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 how to handle
money
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 is not beneficial. I am of the opinion, the main disadvantage of it is mental pressure.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are too young to learn it, which is so complicated and pressure on people at a young
age
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, an
age
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 when
children
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 should play and study.
Moreover
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, finance and
money
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 are responsible and very important, so it is just suitable for adults, not for
children
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, and I think they should be carefree and giddy.
Besides
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, they can have social anxious problems. Not only that, including psychologists, living in the stressful and pressure for a long time is very bad and it harms their mental health heavily, so they may have autism and that affects their lives. In conclusion, I partly disagree that
children
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 practice handling
money
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 from a young
age
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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