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Band 5

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#governments #attempt #festivals #revenue #people #money #programmes
It is considered that central and local authorities try to create festivals to get a lot of income.
This
 money is believed to be invested in social programmes for
people
 living under the poverty line.I mostly agree with
this
 statement and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 essay will give some arguments to back up my position.
To begin
 with,it is morally right to help poor
people
.
For example
,even in the Quran and
Bible
Add a comma
,Bible
show examples
 it says that we need to do our best to provide some help to needy
people
.Afterwards ,when you help someone,there will be
sensesence
Correct your spelling
senescence
 of pleasure in your heart,
due to
 the fact we were created to play the role of
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
people
 in someone`s life.
Moreover
,festivals are meaningless spending of the budget,
whareas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 you can help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the citizens of your city.
To conclude
,we need to help other
people
. First of all,there are benefits for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
For instance
,if you help the citizens,they will vote for you in the selections.
Furthermore
,other citizens will understand that you are trying to provide them
Change preposition
with beter
show examples
beter
Correct your spelling
better
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
thus
 in the next selections you will have rave reviews from voters and you tend to win.The next stage
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that you might go up by career ladder,because of the fact that
president
Correct article usage
the president
show examples
 will witness your milestone and will promote you.
To sum up
,government members will
also
 have pluses and positive consequences. In
cocnclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,it is very
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
pleased
 to help other
people
,especially
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who require
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it,
also
 members of authority will have their benefits.
Consequently
,helping poor
people
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will provide
profound
Add an article
a profound
show examples
 impact on
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of both sides.I am of the opinion that we should provide more help for
people
 who were not born with
silver
Add an article
a silver
show examples
 spoon in their mouth. t
Submitted by dzhumabyev2007 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • frantic attempt
  • promote festivals
  • revenue generation
  • cultural heritage
  • national pride
  • economic boost
  • job creation
  • pressing issues
  • disadvantaged communities
  • long-term benefits
  • cycle of poverty
  • balanced approach
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • economic growth
  • underprivileged sections
  • social welfare
  • tangible impact
  • public health
  • crime rates
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