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Writing Samples
Band 7

Paid Military Service is necessary or not? Explain with own your sentences.

#service #sentences
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Military
service
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 is crucial in terms of defending a country. It is compulsory in most Middle Eastern and Eastern
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as Turkey, Iraq, Rush, Syria, China, and Israel. Nowadays, some
countries
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such
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 as Turkey apply for paid military
service
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 in their
countries
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. It is beneficial to the country’s
budget
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.
However
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, it damages the equality principle. Since every citizen doesn’t have the same economic conditions, it shouldn’t be necessary in terms of finding allocation and finding jobs without breaking the careers of young people.
Firstly
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, some
countries
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 experience
budget
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 deficits. Since they figure out these problems, they collect money from paid military
service
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. It is logical. To illustrate, provided that a government got a lot of teenagers for the military, It had to spend a lot of money on feeding and accommodating them.
Thus
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, many resources are wasted and it results in a
budget
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 deficit.
Furthermore
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, It is an advantage to teenagers. Since they don’t take a break, after finishing school. Because employers get people who finish military
service
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. It is compulsory.
Secondly
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,
On the other hand
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; most teenagers have the same economic condition. That’s why It creates an unfair situation. Now that it is against the principle of equality. It makes people in society unhappy. Everybody should have equal rights. The governments could save to reduce the
budget
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 deficit. All in all, even if
countries
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 save and students progress in their careers,
this
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 is against the principle of equality.
Therefore
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, I am strongly believing that Paid Military
service
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 is not necessary.
Submitted by muratulun on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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