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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the results of the survey about people coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian countries.

The chart shows the results of the survey about people coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian countries.
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The chart illustrates the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and consuming habits in
Sidney
Use synonyms
,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks. In terms of
Sidney
Use synonyms
,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Hobart
Use synonyms
, over 60 % of residents went to a cafe in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks. The proportion of those who consumed instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Hobart
Use synonyms
 (54%) was higher than that of
Sidney
Use synonyms
 and
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 ( 46% and 48% respectively).
However
Linking Words
, over 40% of citizens in
Sidney
Use synonyms
 and
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 had a habit of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 38% of
Hobart
Use synonyms
's
people
Use synonyms
 drank it. In the remaining two cities, purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the smallest percentage ( nearly 35%).The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who drank instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 accounted for 53% in Brisbane and 50% in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, 48% of
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 residents went to a cafe, and 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 in Brisbane had a habit of going to a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 going to a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop was the most common habit except in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was lower than those who purchased instant
coffee
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, sidney, melbourne, adelaide, hobart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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