Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crimes #prison #sentences #methods

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It is a debatable issue in society the leading way to mitigate offences is to keep the offenders in jail for a long period or whether there are other

where

Rephrase

apply

show examples

techniques to do

this

Linking Words

;

however

Linking Words

, I strongly

accord

Verb problem

agree

show examples

with the latter view and will discuss my consideration

along with

Linking Words

another viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, life imprisonment can result in a dearth of scandal.To justify,the longer criminals

would be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

kept in prisons,the less they will interact with others.

As a consequence

Linking Words

,no one will get to know about how they have committed lawlessness.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,the concern of being in sentences can lead to a surge in fear among civilization .

In other words

Linking Words

,if lawbreakers

would be

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

kept behind cells,other civilians would be afraid to commit crimes because of the panic of punishment

as well as

Linking Words

penalties.

Hence

Linking Words

,the crimes can be mitigated.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, rehabilitation is the best way to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue.To prove it ,if the criminals would be given chances to keep themselves better

such

Linking Words

as either by providing education or job opportunities,they can start a new life.

Therefore

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of stealing money or kidnappings,they will work hard to fulfil their desires.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,the regime must restrict the use of weapons for the general public,

minors

Rephrase

especially minors

show examples

,particularly.In fact,those nations where citizens are prohibited

to use

Change preposition

from using

show examples

weapons like Comodia have the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

rate of unlawful activities.Ergo, restricting arms can result in mitigating illegal acts. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

longer imprisonment can result in surging concern among society to commit misdeeds,I believe that rehabilitation is more fruitful in terms of giving them education and a job.

Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on Thu Jul 20 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay addresses the given prompt and considers both views on the issue, but the response lacks clarity and comprehensive ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and depth. The essay would benefit from a clearer and more structured introduction and conclusion.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes. Do you agree or diagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as hobbies and interests and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to stops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. (IELTS 9, AC)

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?