Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is a debatable issue in society the leading way to mitigate offences is to keep the offenders in jail for a long period or whether there are other
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
techniques to do
this
;
however
, I strongly
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with the latter view and will discuss my consideration
along with
another viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, life imprisonment can result in a dearth of scandal.To justify,the longer criminals
would be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
kept in prisons,the less they will interact with others.
As a consequence
,no one will get to know about how they have committed lawlessness.
Besides
this
,the concern of being in sentences can lead to a surge in fear among civilization .
In other words
,if lawbreakers
would be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
kept behind cells,other civilians would be afraid to commit crimes because of the panic of punishment
as well as
penalties.
Hence
,the crimes can be mitigated.
On the other hand
, rehabilitation is the best way to tackle
this
issue.To prove it ,if the criminals would be given chances to keep themselves better
such
as either by providing education or job opportunities,they can start a new life.
Therefore
,
instead
of stealing money or kidnappings,they will work hard to fulfil their desires.
Apart from
this
,the regime must restrict the use of weapons for the general public,
minors
Rephrase
especially minors
show examples
,particularly.In fact,those nations where citizens are prohibited
to use
Change preposition
from using
show examples
weapons like Comodia have the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
rate of unlawful activities.Ergo, restricting arms can result in mitigating illegal acts. In conclusion,
although
longer imprisonment can result in surging concern among society to commit misdeeds,I believe that rehabilitation is more fruitful in terms of giving them education and a job.
Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on

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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the given prompt and considers both views on the issue, but the response lacks clarity and comprehensive ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and depth. The essay would benefit from a clearer and more structured introduction and conclusion.

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