Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. What is your opinion?

In many countries, a big proportion of expenditure is being spent on exploring
space
. It is argued that
this
expenditure should be spent on other important things rather than on
space
exploration.
However
, in my opinion, keeping other significant things in mind,
capacity
Correct article usage
a capacity
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program is very crucial and important for the whole
world
and should be funded
due to
the fact that it will help to improve the
communication
between countries
in
Change preposition
on
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the earth and
also
help to search a new alternate to live.
To begin
, a reason to support funding
space
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
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is
communication
between
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apply
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all over the globe. Because businesses and organizations are being expanded geographically, they need a
communication
channel to run these businesses in an effective manner. It has become possible after launching satellites into orbit.
For instance
, NASA, which is a reputed
space
organization has launched many satellites into orbit, which are being used to broadcast signals in the form of audio and video across the globe.
Moreover
, satellite television has only become possible due the
space
programs
, and people are able to watch global events instantly from anywhere.
Thus
, it can be said that by doing
space
exploration,
world
communication
has utterly been changed and for
this
,reason it should be financially aided.
Furthermore
, As global warming has become a serious concern for the whole
world
, scientists have started to find
the
Correct article usage
an
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alternate planet to live.
Due to
this
fact, there are going to be conducted more
space
programs
and eventually more money is needed to support these
programs
.
For instance
, ISRO, which is an Indian
space
research organization has been funded by the Indian government.
As a result
, they have managed to launch their own satellite without the help of other countries.
In addition
, there is a need to resolve the problem of global warming and
this
could only be possible if more
space
programs
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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aided financially.
Thus
, it has been important for every country to give financial support to these
programs
so that the next generation can live in a better place. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
program should be supported financially as there is a need to get
together with
the whole
world
to improve
communication
and fight against environmental problems.
Submitted by aeldawy95 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear argument in support of space exploration. However, the argument could be developed further and the opposing view could be acknowledged to show a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a coherent manner, and the essay uses appropriate transitions to connect the ideas. However, some additional linking words and phrases could be used to further enhance the cohesion of the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
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