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Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #employees #factories #england #wales #information #features #comparisons
The table illustrates the quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
 and
factories
 in England and Wales in 50 years and
employees
 have broken down into two groups
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender.
According to
 the data, the highest
number
 of
employees
 have reported in 1851
although
 they have the least amount of
factories
. In
this
 year, male
workers
 are almost 280000 which is 100000 more than female
employees
 in that year.
However
, after a decade there were two new
factories
 have opened and
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of both male and female
workers
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced rapidly
while
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
number
 of
employees
 was nearly half than
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
deacade
Correct your spelling
decade
decades
.
In addition
,
factories
 have commenced rapidly and
withine
Correct your spelling
within
 two decades all
factories
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 England and Wales were 721
although
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
employees
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
dicreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
increased
 gradually
Change preposition
by nearly126000
show examples
nearly126000
Correct your spelling
nearly 126000
. In the
last
 20 years, the
factories
 have closed and in 1901
factories
 were 600 . The least
number
 of
employees
 have reported in these years
while
 female and male
workers
 are working
similarly
 in
this
 decade. When studying
this
 table, we can understand there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
workers
 in England and Wales
although
 they have a lot of
factories
.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, although, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, factories, number, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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